Life. Happiness. Contentment. Sadness. Hurt. Belonging. Depression. Suicide.

I didnt want to blog about this but a convo with vonnie changed my mind.

[18:26:08] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: BUBBIESSSSSSSS T_T
[18:26:16] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: just wana know i love u T_T
[18:26:21] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: i read raerae
[18:26:23] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: raerae's blog
[18:26:31] bub ♥ says: haha
[18:26:31] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: then keep trying to login to msn to find rae
[18:26:37] bub ♥ says: she's ok ba
[18:26:50] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: then found her here
[18:26:57] bub ♥ says: lol
[18:26:58] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: I FUCKING TOT IT WAS U
[18:27:00] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: i nearly cried le T_T
[18:27:02] bub ♥ says: y me??
[18:27:05] bub ♥ says: OH
[18:27:05] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: then found out it wasnt u ><
[18:27:07] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: T_T
[18:27:09] bub ♥ says: porche
[18:27:13] bub ♥ says: YA LA
[18:27:16] bub ♥ says: SAME NAME WTF
[18:27:22] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: scare the hell out of me
[18:27:23] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: T_T
[18:27:27] bub ♥ says: i read the blog
[18:27:32] bub ♥ says: i was =_=
[18:27:38] bub ♥ says: i saw the name i jitao sian
[18:27:45] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: theni dun really rmb ur ign in cabal
[18:27:49] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: yalorr
[18:27:51] bub ♥ says: hahahah
[18:27:52] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: i tot it was ur ign in cabal
[18:27:56] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: i FREAKED OUT
[18:28:00] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: T_T wan cry le larrr
[18:28:06] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: lucky ahrae told me it wasnt u T)T
[18:28:08] bub ♥ says: aiyo
[18:28:11] bub ♥ says: sayang sayang
[18:28:14] bub ♥ says: (h)
[18:28:23] bub ♥ says: i wont suicide de dun worry LOL
[18:28:23] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: T_T dun do stupid thing okay. ><
[18:28:28] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: okay ^^
[18:28:32] bub ♥ says: hahaha
[18:28:35] bub ♥ says: muacks!
[18:28:41] ˚◦°°◦.. ☆ vonnie ☆ ..◦°°◦˚ is lost says: muaks muaks ^^

Friendship is not measured by distance nor the frequency u meet. Friendship is measured by the heart.

Thanks vonnie. I love u too :)

A female mapler, Valerie Tay aka XXPORSCHEXX, commited suicide on 15th October, in New York where she was furthering her studies. It was 3 months short of her 21st birthday.

I knew her... we werent close. more like just "Hi" "Bye" but we had mutual frens...

The above mix up was bcos we both share the same name.

Wad drives one to take such drastic measures? How is one able to force the mind to take such a plunge?

I was once hurt badly. So very badly.
I felt hopeless. No where to belong.
No 1 to love. No 1 to love me.

I wanted to take the easy way out at 18.

It seemed the easiest way to end the pain. Physical pain I could bear anyday. Emotional pain, I could not.

I had frens, colleagues & bosses who loved me. They helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. When all I could do was cry, they were there to comfort me, to scold me, to talk sense into my effing thick skull. For days, I went to work in a daze. I could be fine 1 moment and bawling my eyes out the next. They were patient with me. They were the family I never had.

Looking back on the difficult times in my life, I've come to realise that suicide is not an option anymore. When we die, the ones who suffer are the ones we leave behind. I cannot bear to hurt those who love me.

Mebbe I've grown in thought. Mebbe I've realised that Life still goes on.

The 1st time is always the hardest... Kiwi told me that :)

We all need somewhere to belong. We all need love. We all need to learn to reach out to the people who cares for us. We need to learn how to live!

Val's blog

Val's bro's blog

Labels: just me